Name: Jennifer Cai
Nick: Xiao Yü, Jenn
DOB: August, 20
Bloodtype: B+
Ethnicity: Chinese
Nationality: Indonesian
Location: Jakarta - Indonesia

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fragments of my life... in case you want to know my surroundings and any other things going on in my life

Recent Post
30.05.06 - MOVED!!!!!!!!! now @

Xiao Yü is
a 20-year-old girl who lives in Jakarta, Indonesia
She is mean and kind-hearted at the same time
She's a bit of a psychothic,
a dreamer but realistic too,
basically she's a walking paradox.

At times, she tends to be a narcissist,
but she's really not that self-indulging or self-centered.

People sometimes misunderstood her,
but once you get to know her, she's really sweet!
She's also treasures friendship and loyalty
since she's a loyal person
and always care about her friends

She is quite independent, strong
and sometimes would act in a boyish manner.
But beneath the surface,
she is a fragile hearted little girl
Who bruised easily...

white (most fave one), baby colors, black, grayscale, all shades of blue, silver, all shades of green (so soothing! ^^)

stuffed animals - fluffy things - fur & feathers - lychee - cool air - a bit cloudy day - night & dawn - inspiration - good books - intelligence - gentleness - poetry - soft speech - nice people - equality - calmness & serenity - tea!

hot day - to much sun shine - 12 AM - write/design block - empty conversation - ignorance - rudeness - profanities - harsh words - mean people - discrimination - too crowded situation - running out of tea!

writing, drawing, painting, calligraphy, designing, reading, learning new things, studying foreign languages

becoming a diplomat/ work in the UN/ an interpreter/ a professor/ a writer/ owning a design house

Language Spoken
awful Chinese
a bit Russian
(that bit is very little! ^^)

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MOVED!!!!!!!!! now @

my blog is moved to:


posted at 7:54 pm







I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exams're over!!! And tommorow I'll blog more! ^O^


posted at 8:31 pm






Humph! is a real pain! It just keep erasing the entries... Tsk... got to use another service...

Btw... I'm going to be Jason's Godmother tommorow!!! ^^ SO happy!

Jiejie being a (not-so-good) Catholic decided that her son, Jason would be baptized since a baby. And she asked me to be Jason's Godmother. So, I would have a cute little angel as my Godchild ^^ hehehe...

Maybe tommorow or... after my finals... I would post the photos of the baptizing ceremony ^^

Ja ne!


posted at 6:47 pm





Downloading Adobe Reader 7.05

Right now, I'm sitting in front of the near-by net cafe's computer for more than 2 hours already. It's sooooo boring.

The internet speed is not so fast today, but I still download the newest Adobe Reader. Because I want it so bad...

Yesterday I downloaded some piano sheets, although I don't find the piece I've been looking for, Paganini's Rhapsody (it's okay... I wouldn't be a ble to play it anyway ^^;;), I found X-Japan's Forever Love, James Blunt's You're Beautiful and many more! I really want to try playing them on my piano... but the problem is I don't have Adobe Reader...

So I decided to download it and right now, it's 74% downloaded and I still have to wait for another 43 mins. T_T

I'm bored already!!!


posted at 4:47 pm






Why do there are so many errs in my blog???

First, my tagboard keep erasing its content, then my commenting link (I don't know it's me being too stupid to write the code properly or not...) is weird and not to mention about okcounter... where does okcounter go? I found a 404 Error page when I clicked it... sigh...

I think I'm going to do a major change on this blog... after my final exams off course. Allthough I really want to change the layout so bad right now. I mean, January the 29th is Chun Jie and I want to make a cute red-ish (color of Chun Jie) layout with a cute puppy in it ^^ (dog year...)

But guess I have to wait... I have to put my exams first.



posted at 5:50 pm





There are bad things and there are good things...

Today I'm *so* happy. I never thought that I could be a help for my friend.

Maybe you don't know, that I'm the kind of person who treasures friends. Somehow, I demand myself to be loyal. Therefore, I'm both a loyal person and a loyal friend (and a loyal lover too ^^).

Off course I demand the same loyalty from my friends... I could not tolerate disloyalty, because I believe that loyalty is the one thing, a quality, one must posseses in order for him/her to be considered as a human.

And why am I happy today?

My friend finally solved her problem. The story is quite long, but the short version is...

There is my friend, her ex-boyfriend (let's call him arse) and her ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend (I'll call her X). When my friend was still with arse, my friend fought with x. And x actually slapped her. X is a b*tch? I wouldn't say that now, but I use to consider her as a...

And then arse ditch my friend and decided to go back with x... my friend was heartbroken, not for long though. Because arse is an arse... he's really an arse...

But later... x ditch arse, appearantly x is tired of him being such an arse...

Yet, both x and my friend's still hating each other. Then, I found out that arse is an arse. After a while, I told my friend that arse is such an arse and all the things he said about x is a lie.

Arse once told my friend that x use to threat him if he dump her. Arse said that x threat him to commit a suicide. When my friend and I heard that, we're like... "Sheesh... this girl must be out of her mind! Psycho b*tch! Get a life!"

It was a LIE!!

X never threatens arse! X is not that kind of person (I found this out from her friend who's a good friend of mine)

And what's worse? Arse also told the same kind of lie to x. He said that my friend threatened him. He said that my friend would kill herself if he do that. Well... he did dump my friend and right now my friend is very much alive!

Both my friend and x is not suicidal or psycho enough to commit a suicide. Arse was lying

And the fight between my friend and x? It was arse's scenario. He actually set both my friend and x up! He wanted them to fight! Imagine that!

Arse is an arse... he's such a pathethic loser! And a wacko too!

As I told my friend about arse's lies, my friend was furious. She decided to ask x, what has arse said to her.So, I helped her to find x.

They meet and talk, as my friend told x about what arse has told her about x, x was furious. And as x told my friend about what arse has told her about my frien, my friend was furious too.

It was a funny thing to see. They once were enemies but then they talk to each other like good friends.

I am happy for both of them, now they know the truth, the whole truth. They're also friends now.

But as I said, there are good things, there are bad things. The bad things here, refers to yesterday. A very bad day yesterday was >_<

Well, the story is...

I have a boyfriend and my boyfriend use to be my lecturer.

Okay, you can say that I have this teacher-complex-syndrome. It's the truth after all ^^;;

Although he's a lecturer, he's actually a senior student in my faculty. He's majoring in Japanese liteature and since he's so smart he managed to get a scholarship. Currently he's studying in University of Hiroshima, Japan.

But why does he could be a lecturer in Chinese major? He spent first twelve years of his life in Hongkong and China mainland.

Being a young and attractive male lecturer in a major full of female students (there are more than 100 students majoring Chinese in my faculty but we have less than 20 male students), he has numbers of fans. I was one of them (but definitely not a fanatic fan!). But later I managed to have him for myself ^^V hehehehe...

And you couldn't blame me for that! It was him who asked to me be his girlfriend!

As I've said, he's in Hiroshima right now which means, I'm in a long-distant-relationship.

Many of my friends asked me about him. "How is he now?" or "What's up with him?" or some of his male juniors would ask, "Does he know any pretty Japanese girls? Introduce me to one." or "Would you tell him to bring Fukada Kyoko along with him when he got back?" while his female juniors would ask, "Tell him to get me manga-looking kakkoi Jap guys!" or "Bring Kaneshiro Takeshi and Takizawa Hideaki home!"

I would politely answer them. Those are polite and friendly questions, some are jokes and some resembles that they care about their friend who is my boyfriend.

But apparently, a friend of mine, who's also a fan of my boyfriend, does not know the word polite. This miss unpolite asked me, "You're still with him?"


It's obvious that she wants my relationship's to be done, to be over...

Sheesh! I know she's jealous at me. I got the guy! But hey! Ms. unpolite, would you look at me then look at the mirror?! Why do you think he choosed me instead of you? And try to analyze your manner! Not to mention... your BRAIN!!!

The one thing I treasure and pride the most from me is my brain. I know for sure, she doesn't have a clue about... for instance, how to blog. These days, blogging is very easy. But I can bet, right now, she doesn't know about how to blog.

But silly me... do you know what is my reply for her question?

"Huh? still la." - "Hah? Masih lah"

Yes, only three word. First, because of shock (Gosh! Is this girl's for real? How rude!) Second, I'm a polite and nice gal.

But next time, if she still has the guts to ask me such question, I'll show her my fangs and my pointed tail!

Miss unpolite... BEWARE!!!!


posted at 4:25 pm





A Narcissitic Way of Relieving Stress

Maybe I have to consider about changing my blog's name from "Soliton" into "The True Narcissist" or just jimply "Narcissistique" since I am very, very narcissistic.

Actually, I've been in a very bad mood these past few days. Not because of PMS, I got my periode already. But due to exhaustion, both physhical and mental exhaustion.

The final exams are getting nearer and I'm far from ready. There's this subject called "Image of China" sounds cool, ne? What's Image of China's all about? Basically, it's Chinese geography. Back in high school I'm not so bad in geography. But at this so-called Image of China... I suck! Why? The whole book is written in Hanzi (Chinese character or Kanji) and my lecturer also giving lectures in Chinese! My! How am I going to understand? Di kelas rasanya kayak jadi bebek denger gluduk. Gak ngerti apa-apaan.

Not to mention News Listenning. Yes, we have a subject dedicated solely to news listenning... and it's very difficult. Hey! I sometimes couldn't really catch Fox Chanel's John Cavuto's words... now they ask me to listen to natice Chinese speaker reading news in Chinese? Geez...

My finals starts on the 24th of this month. Erveryday I have to study all day long everyday and I can't go have fun (which usually is my stress reliever) because mom would be pissed off and even I, refuse to go out and have some fun. An E or a D is definitely not in my plan!

Study... study... study... Sigh... I end up being stressed out...Image hosted by

But! Being a smart gal, I don't want to be miserable all the time, throwing tantrums and becomming the most irritating person of the year. That is an absolute no-no!

So I try to make myself relaxed.

You know all the things a psychologist would suggest? Like taking up sketching or painting or writing or reading... you know la.

I've tried them. I do sketch and write (well, just look at this blog, I wrote this blog) and reading also, Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist (Diva bought it for me from Sing) a very nice reading, not too light for my complex mind and not to heavy for a light reading.

None of them really works you know. Not to mention that the consume my precious time!

I would say that sketching relaxed you the most, but sketching gives me muscular ache. It's physically tiring and is very time consuming.

Now what is MY way of relieving stres? Instant, no drugs and only took seconds (okay... or minutes).

It's taking MY own photos! ^^ wakakakakaks!!!

It's fast and it relieves stress!

Ooh! My hair is messy

Too a photo then look at the good result definitely could relieves my stress. Maybe you could try it also!

If it works for you too, do send me an email or a post in my tagboard or add a comment on this entry, please tell me the effect on you!

PS. On the last post, I forgot to tell you the Panda's new resolution, yes? Well... it's to have enough sleep this year, so panda's eyes areas wouldn't be as black as now!


posted at 9:04 pm





The Belated Post about the First Days of 2006

**warning!!! Long rants... prepare yourself!**

Phew! I finally post this!
Remember my post on 28th of Dec. 2005? About me, having no life? Well, it turns out that I do have live ^^ although 2005's Christmas and New Year's eve have become the most boring Christmas and New Year's eve (no Christmas tree, no greeting cards, no party or whatsoever and I don't even bother to go to the church!), but I have quite a lively new year day.

At the first day of this year, my family are having the so-called family lunch in a not-that-impressive steak restaurant (Abuba at Kelapa Gading Boulevard which is zhen de hen yuan - aseli jauh banget from my house), the reason is quite silly... just because my sister wanted it so.

The five (mom, dad, jie-jie - elder sister, jiefu - bro. in law and I ), oops! I mean six (add Jason, my nephew), of us decided to use one car instead of two to got there, for the sake of family warmth, those kinds of things, you know...

Little Jason who's not even a year, sat on my mother's lap and my mother sits right next to me. I don't know what gets into him, but he just keep staring at me, calling me, "eh... eh..." (he calls everybody that... it's the only word he could say), dying to get my attention.

Off course I don't mind, he's my nephew and I love him and he's so cute. So I took the chance of proclaiming my narcissism by saying,

"What is it, Jason? You can't stop staring Ayi-auntie because Ayi is very beautiful, huh?"

The whole family burst out in laugh, telling me that I'm being to narcissistic and jie-jie said that she wants to puke. She's joking off course.

Jason at the restaurant

After we eat, we decided to go to the MKG. Since it's new year, we're kinda wish that it wouldn't be crowded. I mean, it's the first of January, people suppose to spend their time with their family in their house right? I mean... who's going to go there anyway, except us??

But we thought wrong, MKG still packed with people.

I've done quite a good window shopping there. Couldn't actually buy them, paiseh lah. I'm with jie-jie and little Jason. We couldn't mobilize well.

So I end up in Mother Care.

Jason, in front of Mother Care, he loves the snowman...

Look at the inside of Mother Care

The left one is my favorite

Cool, ne?

^o^ so sweet! ^o^

At January the second, I went to MKG once more! This time it's just my mother (my walking bank) and myself. I bought some tops, a pair of shoes (I almost bought two!), a new 7610 casing (it's pink!!) which I desperately needs (the old one, is cracked here and there) a bag and an army-patterned short skirt!

Me... buying a short skirt... it feels almost like a miracle. I mean... I got the biggest legs and I still buying a short skirt!

But maybe at the end of this year, I would be able to wear it without feeling ashamed (of my legs) since my New Year's resolution is...

the silliest resolution I've ever made...

and that silliest resolution is...

very ridicullous...

And what is that silly and ridicullous resolution?

That would be...


Looks good with extra mini skirt or a hot pant.


Okeh... gw tahu... resolusinya 'mang ENGGAK BANGET!!!!

But that's my New Year's resolution. And speaking of New Year's resolution... could you guess, a Panda's New Year's resolution? Yes, PANDA, the black and white cute-looking animal which is used as WWF logo.

Don't think too hard... it's only a joke.

But... are you curious? Want to know the answer? Just read on, I put it on the last part of this post.

Anyway, at MKG, I was eyeing a pink fluffy lampastand. It's about IDR 50 thousands and I really want it. But mom wouldn't buy it for me T_T

so cute!

Someone mind to buy it for me?? ^^

At January the third, the last day of my short Christmas and New Year holiday... I gathered with my bestfriends from highschool. They are Dewi, Tresna and Eunike.

Dewi (whose nick/screenname is Diva, I'm the one who gave that name to here, well, diva means goddess, dewi also means goddess... got the point??) is an NTU student majoring Computer Engineering, she got herself a full scholarship there... brainy gal, yes.

Tresna, not the brightest one, but very sweet and kind-hearted and not to mention... pretty! She's majoring Accounting in <>Untar.

Eunike, she's UPH Medical School student. This girl is beautiful, smart... but sometimes, we would scold her for being too lemot 'n tulalit. It's an irony... someone who got scholarship (yes, Eunike also got a scholarship) in med. school could appear so dumb and stupid at times... tsk... ^^;;

We gathered in Coffe Bean and the Tea Leaves at TA. As usual, Eunike's late.

Diva's calling Eunike.

After two hours, Eunike's finnally arrived. We have a very good time there. Chatting and laughing, being very loud and I'm sure, our lot disturbed other Coffee Bean's customer ^^;;

Tresna and Eunike paying attention to Diva

Andri (Eunike's boyfriend) and Diva

The four of us

Actually I also want to blog about "A Narcissitic Way of Relieving Stress" but this post is very long already. So I decided to be patient and wait untill tommorow ^^. So wait for tommorow's update 'k?



posted at 6:12 pm





CDMA cellphone...


Another lonely Saturday night has passed
I found myself, sitting on the couch
As if I'm waiting for someone to come...
Hours passed and I cry...

I'm tired of this lonliness...
Of this constant longing...


I really have to stop my complaining habit!

Anyway... my internet connection might never come back... my father's really upset about the last phone billing, IDR 1.2 million and all the blame is on me.

So, right now... I'm searching for a cheap CDMA cell phone to be use as a modem. Someone knows one? A good and cheap CDMA cell which I can use as a modem??


posted at 3:23 pm





^^ Just read it! ^^

Wakakakakaks!!! Read this following message I got from Friendster message board

> I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd
> waht I was rdanieg.
> The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
> Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
> Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in
> waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
> iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
> the rghit pclae.
> The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll
> it wouthit a porbelm.
> Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
> ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
> Amzanig huh? yaeh
> and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
> so cool!!!
> If you can udernatnsd tihs rdanieg, fwrorad it!!!

I never really realized untill now... that... well... spelling is really not *that* important ^^


posted at 3:13 pm





Hiks... hiks... T_T

I'm so sad...

It's been a few days since I last blogged. Why? Because I lost my internet connection...

Right now, I'm blogging from an internet cae near my house. Zhende hen jin, only 100 to 200 metres away! ^^

So, instead of telling you these past few days which I enjoyed, I like to answer few questions and comments on my tagboard.

to Rafid... boleh! Boleh banget! ^^

to Andy... tekel? Off course I know, my elder brother used to breed tekels, years ago I kept one, a black tekel named Carla. And yes, Ivy is very cute ^^

to Snoopy... nanti gw post crita lucu n gambar2 yg okeh2 punya!

to Nocturno, Pixeljunkie, Pedot-pedotan, Wewe, Bowboo... terima kasih banyak!

to D (David)... wakakakakakaks! Tentu dhuong! Gw gitu loh! Mau diajarin Long? Loe kan anak DKV, bakal dapet mata kuliah web-designing buka??

to Sisiel... loe ngatri HTML dasar kagak? Ntar gw ajarin kl loe mau... tapi gw ngajarinnya dimana? Kampus? SALLC? Komputernya kan butut! Kalo di rumah loe sh... jauh bener!



posted at 2:26 pm





I am a true "banci-foto"!!

Added three different counters (one is never enough, ne?), my favourite one is okcounter, it has so many cute skins! Choosing the skin I would use was quite confusing, they're all so cute and sweet. But I enjoy it anyway ^^

I'm also very glad, that I found that there's nothing wrong with this page. I saw some errors when I last blogged. It must be my IE, not the code or


I want to announce, that I am a true narcissist! And a photo maniac, in Indonesian, my friends and I would call it "banci foto"
Believe it or not... at 4 in the morning, right after turning off the computer, I still manage to took this picture

A very suitable pose to describe frustration, yes?
At that time I was on the point of fed up, trying to fix diaryland's imaginary bug (read above, it's my IE which erred), so I shut my PC down and took this picture ^^

I also manage to do some shots at 6, with all the make-ups needed

still look good, am I not?
But look at this one

I was trying to look kawai with the peace and all, but I guess it turns out... @#$%^&* disasterous. I think it's a bad idea to have a photoshoot after a sleeples night, just look at my eyes! Wakakakaks! Beler aje! I really shouldn't do that again!

Oh, yes! Thank you for all who said nice things about me and the blog in the tag-board ^^ I really appreciate it.


posted at 3:47 am





Layout and me, having no life T_T

I really don't have a life!

It's 28th of December! It's three days to New Year's eve! And right now, I don't have any plan, what would I do on New Year's eve... yes, I don't have a life. And yes... you can call me a loser...

The usual annual family gathering at the night of 31th of December hasn't been confirmed yet. Each year, I usually gather with all of my father's family, everyone would be there except those who failed to get a plane ticket (most of my cousins are abroad, studying). But this year, I don't think there would be a gathering.

Where are my friends?

Some of them are having family party, some other're out of the town and the rest would be partying in clubs or holding their own new year party. And why didn't I got invited?

Because... I wouldn't come even if they invite me. Not that I don't want to come, but more because I can't come... my mother would never let me come home at two or three in the morning, she even wouldn't let me come home at twelve... and it's a new year party, would you come home at eleven? T_T

Okay! Enough of the whinings or being miserable!

How could I face the new year in a new spirit if I keep whining, right?

So, (I'm trying to be more positive here) let's just talk about the layout... since it's a new(-ly revived) blog and it's also created by the new me (well... later on you'll know the old me), I was thinking that it's suppose to be girlie and very feminine, not to mention, soft...

And don't forgot about the word "dream" it's a very dreamy layout, ne? Quite simple (I've done many more complex designs than this one), ellegant and mellow, though... I still find it somehow sad. Oh well... I just can't stop being melancholic... it's by nature!

But off course I also find glimpses of hopes, the smiling me (yes, I use my own photo out of narcissism), the white fireflies, etc... etc...

And don't you just love the butterflies? I think they're so cute ^^

I think it's enough for now... maybe tommorow or later I'll blog again (Geez! How could you have all the time to blog? -- I don't have a life, remember? ^^;;)


posted at 3:21 am





^o^ Hoho! I finally finalized this blog! ^^

Oh! I'm so happy! I finally finished with the little tidbitz which frustrates me lately!

It's finally up! Up and ready to be seen!

Oh! I'm so tired now... tommorow I'll blog about the design and all ^^



posted at 10:43 am





this is the short desc.

this is the entry


posted at 8:35 am





testing... testinng...

This is the first entry, just a test-entry...


posted at 01:01 am